Thursday

Trying To Find My Place.


"...she's a child of the internet, that's something you do, alone." 
- RuPaul about Violet Chachki (Ep 5,S7)
Peacocks Cami, M&S Bag,
Wallis Trousers (thrifted)

Sup guys, this is an outfit i've found myself in a few times the last two weeks, with more interviews and meetings then i remember its been my go-to look, although with a change of shoes as when we took these pics i still had a freshly broken toe, but she's all healed now ;) The last few weeks have been weird and super busy, they kinda hit me really unexpectedly and im not really sure where to put myself. Im feeling more grown up and responsible than ever but i also find im doubting myself more, like im unsure of where i stand and my place on a social scale. Dont get me wrong im the happiest and most confident ive ever been since my first year at uni but maybe its just a part of finding your place in an adult world, im trying to understand where i fit.

I had an interview today, a group assessment type thing for a weekend job while i study, compared to the other meetings and interviews for internships ive had the last few weeks its not something major but its really stuck in my head. Maybe its the group scenario thing because i know im not a massively social person, i find it difficult in a group of people, whether i know them or not, to fit. Its my anxiety that plays in my mind in social situations, constantly doubting myself, instantly regretting things i say and holding back, im either to forward or too reserved, theres no balance. Its not exactly difficult to knock my confidence a little, all you have to do is say one thing and it'll play on my mind for days and then everything i do and say will be magnified, for example i said something so stupid and cringey to a colleague earlier and now i cannot stop going over it in my head, how stupid it was, questioning why i even thought it was a good idea in the first place. All because someone made me question myself before..

I often joke about how im a 'child of the internet' because all of the language i use and references i make. I picked them up because of places like tumblr and twitter, my actual peers never know wtf im talking about or actually saying either tbh, going through my teens like that was tricky. I lived my life and experiences online, which made it hard to connect with people my age in real life, they'd never know about the things i was interested in. I never thought it would follow me though, i thought id be able to grow out of it but the last few days have proved to me otherwise. I missed out on a lot of 'coming of age' experiences, for various reasons, health and opportunity mainly, which makes it more difficult for me to relate to people so when i sit in a social situation, a new job, an interview i struggle, i find myself trying to be cool still, trying to be someone people like but still, im suffocated by anxiety. Im proud of the person i am, im driven and motivated, i have goals and ill do whatever i can to get to them, my growing up on the internet has only encouraged me, tumblr built me into this person, it pushed me to dream and to chase it. But i also never thought my 'being of the internet' would mean i grew into such an independent person and i suppose im still trying to figure out if its a good thing or not, and how to balance myself...

|| Now playing || Karma Seeker - Vant || Bang bang - Green Day || She's Out Of Her Mind - Blink182 ||

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56 comments:

  1. Such a stunning look!!

    Adi xx
    www.fancycorrectitude.com
    www.instagram.com/fancycorrectitude

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  2. Girl, I love your honestly and vulnerability. I think your feelings are completely normal! Especially for a young adult. We all have insecurities. You look beautiful, too!

    -Court
    www.thegoldentabby.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you chick, it took a lot to hit that publish button xx

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  3. Amazing photos! Love your style!

    http://curlyjosephine.blogspot.ba/

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  4. gorgeous! love the jumpsuit
    xx
    http://thedemeler.com

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  5. I think we're all trying to find ourselves as adults! I'm still in the process of that too, sometimes I have my doubts, sometimes I get anxious... but it's all part of the never-ending process! Love this outfit btw, very trendy and chic!

    XoXo,

    Tamara - LoveofMode.com

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  6. First off, love these photos! I also think that everyone as they grow up goes through that period of trying to figure out where they fit in. I'm feeling the same way right now!

    www.thesundaymode.com

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    Replies
    1. Glad im not the only one! We'll find our place soon :) x

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  7. Gorgeous chic look! Love all of your photos.

    xo,

    aikocunanan.com

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  8. You look so pretty, I love jumpsuits they look so classy on :) Pixie xx http://pixieox.co

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  9. Really like how you've styled this look especially with the accessorises! Hope that the interview wasn't too daunting for you, I know they can be real difficult at times, especially group ones!

    smallbrownandstylish.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. Thank you sweet, group ones can be tough, it went okay though! xx

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  10. Interviews can be daunting for everybody, staying true to yourself is what matters in the end though! Love the outfit x

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    Replies
    1. Thats my thoughts exactly, thanks Eilidh!

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  11. I get you. I am, or use to be, the person who would say something embarrassing and think about it all day. Even though the person I said it to probably forgot, I would constantly remind myself. It's hard to quit doing that, and it takes time. I think you're a lovely young girl, and I'll be sending good vibes your way :) Oh, and you look absolutely AMAZING in these photos. Killin' the game girl!

    Kathlyn | Kathlyn's Korner

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    Replies
    1. It is tough to quit it, bad habit! Thank you so much, really appreciate this <3 x

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  12. cute outfit you look awesome !!

    http://www.carolinapinglo.com/

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  13. This is so inspiring! I love the post:)

    irenethayer.com

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  14. Perfect outfit for interviews! Definitely can relate to this post! Thanks for sharing!

    xx

    Nicole | http://toogoldstreet.com

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  15. I really love your outfit and also your bag. Everything are so great!

    xoxo,
    Katrina

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  16. so cute! definitely a great interview look!

    www.prettyinleather.net

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  17. Good luck with the jobs, maybe getting out there into more social situation will help your anxiety. Great look for interviews
    Lauren
    livinginaboxx | bloglovin

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  18. I am a very social person but being in a group interview is terrifying! I always get nervous like ill say something stupid or look stupid in front of all these people. Good luck babe You look fabulous!

    Life is just Rosie

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    Replies
    1. Me too, i just worry to much! Thanks girl x

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  19. You can't go wrong with a black jumpsuit - looks great you! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  20. Great outfit! I thought it was a great jumpsuit but love even more that it's two pieces.

    -Andréa

    A.Viza Style

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  21. This is so simple but suits you super good :)

    Best
    Michaela

    Michaelablog
    Bloglovin'

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  22. Perfect outfit for interviews! Definitely can relate to this post! Thanks for sharing!
    best education service

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  23. This is so inspiring! I love the post:)

    irenethayer.com

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  24. Love this cool black street style look, lady!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  25. Lovely :)

    http://trapeziovermelho.blogspot.pt

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  26. Lovely post, dear!

    xx
    Aida
    http://espritdemode.blogspot.lt/2016/08/afternoon-with-umi-jewelry.html

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  27. What a chic, look! I love the location too!
    xo
    www.laurajaneatelier.com

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  28. Love your honesty and vulnerability! I adore these pants. They give you legs for days and you look so chic!!

    xo, Christina
    http://www.christinabeex3.com/

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  29. Great look! Love this jumpsuit!

    http://violettedaily.com

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  30. I think all of use are always trying to find us self, especially in our young adult years! Lovely outfit, love the all black! Xx

    www.thefashionfolks.com

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  31. I like the whole styling and photos! Cheers to the photographer who did a great job capturing your style!
    <3

    http://blamod.com

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  32. I definitely remember how difficult it was for me to transition from student to adult; hmm I still feel like I haven't quite gotten it down ;D! Group interviews are my nightmare as well, I just try to smile and laugh a lot. This is a fantastic outfit for the occasion; chic yet professional!

    xo, alice / T Y P E N U

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  33. You look so fab in this ensemble! Love it! =)


    - Cielo
    Mermaid in Heels

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  34. You look really great, hun! I love this outfit as well as your photos. Cheers to the photographer!

    xo,
    Iga
    www.STYLENIGHTCAP.com

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  35. Oh darlin' we're all in the same boat. We all have insecurities that we worry about. We may not worry about the same things, but odds are that the super confident-looking person you come across next has 'em too.

    As for the jumpsuit, you can never go wrong in a simple and black look. Kudos!

    Xoxo,
    www.fashionlingual.com

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  36. Totally crushing on your choker necklace!

    xx,
    Chels
    www.chelseaasoflate.com

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  37. What a great outfit - and you'll find your place. Just give it time :)

    Love, Lindsey
    http://thenomisniche.com/

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  38. This is such a wonderful post! Have a nice day:)

    irenethayer.com

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  39. Lovely outfit and stunning photographs dear, thanks for sharing!

    Faye .x

    http://www.fayeisabella.co.uk/2016/09/flare.html

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  40. Love this look! I'm a new reader, and I just want to say that you're very pretty! :)

    Melissa the Mermaid ♥
    Follow me in Bloglovin'

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